I know a first class honours-to-be that drinks like a horse. I know a SMU business major that is extremely selfish, and only does things that are to his advantage. I know plenty of selfish people, plenty of hypocrites, I know people that are very kind, yet, they are not great achievers. I know plenty of great achievers, that have somewhat flawed characters. So often, I ask myself, what do I want more, to be a great achiever or a great person?
I do not know any drug lords that earn millions from feeding of other people addiction. I do not know any loansharks that feed of high interest loans of others, and threaten their lives if their borrowers are unable to repay them on time. I do not know any dictators that oppress their people so that he can gather all the riches of the land for himself. I do not know any Mafia leader that looks cool on the outside, but does million and one evil deeds to gain his fortune. I do not know any of these people personally, but I do know they exist.
I ask myself, if I was given a choice, would I be such a person, such an achiever, or someone that has a better character, but a lesser achiever? I know I am a good man. Haha.. does it sound quite shameless? I have my flaws, but in general, i strive to be a good person. This may be a different version of 'Will you sell your soul to the Devil?'. That, I definitely would not, but what if the buyer is someone of a lesser evil? Is honesty, integrity, and honour that important?
I question my demand for myself to be a good person. What good may I do, if I do not achieve some evil and surpass those around me at all cost? Still, I know, innately, I'm of good nature. I cannot be evil. Many a times, I tell myself I must be less kind, be more selfish, be more aggressive, be more cruel. As many a times as I try, as many a times I fail. Alas, am I not meant for greatness? But wait, what is my definition of greatness? Maybe my greatness = being a kind person... I have no conclusion. I am still puzzled.
I do not know any drug lords that earn millions from feeding of other people addiction. I do not know any loansharks that feed of high interest loans of others, and threaten their lives if their borrowers are unable to repay them on time. I do not know any dictators that oppress their people so that he can gather all the riches of the land for himself. I do not know any Mafia leader that looks cool on the outside, but does million and one evil deeds to gain his fortune. I do not know any of these people personally, but I do know they exist.
I ask myself, if I was given a choice, would I be such a person, such an achiever, or someone that has a better character, but a lesser achiever? I know I am a good man. Haha.. does it sound quite shameless? I have my flaws, but in general, i strive to be a good person. This may be a different version of 'Will you sell your soul to the Devil?'. That, I definitely would not, but what if the buyer is someone of a lesser evil? Is honesty, integrity, and honour that important?
I question my demand for myself to be a good person. What good may I do, if I do not achieve some evil and surpass those around me at all cost? Still, I know, innately, I'm of good nature. I cannot be evil. Many a times, I tell myself I must be less kind, be more selfish, be more aggressive, be more cruel. As many a times as I try, as many a times I fail. Alas, am I not meant for greatness? But wait, what is my definition of greatness? Maybe my greatness = being a kind person... I have no conclusion. I am still puzzled.
No comments:
Post a Comment