If I were to die, let it be today.

If I were to die, let it be today.

Looking forward, nothing seems to be worthy of a fight. Visuals fly by, oblivious to my existence as I am to theirs. Weary, drained, torn. Step by step I limp, with the destination unknown.

Looking back, the past haunts. My very own shadow. My personal darkness. I stare at it. It glared back. It has a life that has as much life as I gave it, I don’t know how long I can contain this animal. I never know, but I reckon I’m still above it.

Looking down, I see my tattered feet, my tattered clothes, my tattered body. I see my soul, my tattered soul. The flying visuals draw blood, as their matter tackle me down, roll me over, and drive me to a corner. In luck am I not in pursuit of a perfect soul. Surroundings of the container are so different from its content. The difference frightens others. They fear what they do not understand.

Looking up, I do not scream at the Heavens. I admire it. Its cozy blue skies, its rosy soft clouds. Change happens forever, even above me in the clouds. That makes the cloud ever so alluring.

Closing my eyes, I learn to endure, I learn to accept. I learn that I am different, and I learn to accept my difference. I learn to accept that others may not accept my difference. I learn to let go, at least most of it all. I learn that I only live once, at least in this existence which I hardly comprehend.

Clearing my mind, I know I still have a lot to learn. Perfectionism is a side effect from my existence in which I am still learning to do without. I know that when there is light, there is always a shadow. That’s life in this three-dimensional setting. I know my strength and my weakness. I just have to work on them. I know I may never shake off my shadow. I am learning to live with it. I reckon I am doing well.

If I were to die, let it be today.

Looking forward, the unknown is not worthy dwelling. Looking backwards, I have no regrets.
Looking down, I know I have been my best.
Looking up, I know I am respectful to all those under the same sky.
Closing my eyes, I completely understand myself.
Clearing my mind, I know my conscience is clear.

If I were to die, let it be today, only when I am able to proudly declare I have achieved the above undertakings.