Nearing sporting death

This entry is a one of tears and pain. It is also an entry of great memories. Currently 21, turning 22 in 8 more months. In life, we have to move on, this one, will be a big decision to move on.

I quitted IVP volleyball in light to extend my volleyball career. Tomorrow, is the start of the short season of IHG for volleyball. My 1st match. Due to injury problems, I am now the starter of Eusoff Hall. Unfortunate in as many ways as its fortunate. I have almost no pressure. The regret is my ailing body, increasing number of injuries and their seriousness, so much so that 5 years back, seeing others with these injuries just freaked me out. Now, I am them.

Nowadays, I do feel like finding back my BMT sergeants, telling them that my ankle ligament was really torn, that I REALLY was not faking it, that it was all true. BUT WHAT THE F*&^ DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE!!! Someone that is half crippled does not really have the last laugh. Revenge is not as sweet as forgiveness... I am trying to learn that. What goes around comes around. That really holds me back from revenge, but none close to forgiveness. Vicitim of a situation, just like En Huai, though he paid a much more painful price.

2 weeks ago, I had a nightmare, about that place, that place again. Almost a year has passed, but that face, that place, that kind of nightmare, it still haunts me. I have not thought about it for I do not know how long already... LET IT GO? LET ME GO... PLEASE... let me go... please... please... lleettt.... mmeee.... ggooo......