Starting to end

Still remember how the 1st day was like. My parents sent me to there w my sis. After a while, they left while i would have to call that place home. Always feel fast when u look back, but always seems so long when u look ahead. Already past the 2 yr mark of my NS liabilities, but dunno y, 53 days feels much further than those 2 yrs.

These 2 yrs, i have been in camp more often then i have been at home. Cant believe that i actually gone thru so much hell... After i leave the army, i will be w a spoilt left knee, a torn left ankle ligament, n a very changed view of life n things ard. I dun take away the fact that army changes people, just that whether its bad or gd. These last few days have made me think whether i can cope w life outside army. Whether can i clean my mouth of vuglarities (haha...), whether can i even converse in proper english, whether i can view this world the way i used to.

Din expect myself to 'hate' a few of the people i knew from army that badly, although, someone has told me not to use the word hate. Maybe cos its too strong a word?? I still can remember the things that happened inside army very clearly. Even till the last 50+ days of my army liability, i am still biting thru. Its still not easy to even survive thru these last 2 months of army life.

Man, i am complaining abt army agian!!! Cant believe that i have so much to comaplin abt army also. It has been my 'life' for the past 2 yrs plus. One thing i do see of light is that i have met some very incredible people in the army. Also, when u put urself to a situation that u have to do sth, u will do it. Unbelievable things that i tot i couldnt do include running 9.50 for 2.4km, running 9.14 for SOC, carrying a 48.9kg projectile w my hands, running 2 AHM for 2 conserative yrs, w one of the AHM i ran w a torn ankle ligament, have so much hate for someone that i have nightmares of killing them(this one is very true), waking up at 3am in the morning, draw my arms n start running like mad for 50metres b4 i change into a coverall under 7 mins, guard a place for the whole nit w my sergeant n talking abt everything under the sun w him, go chiong n enjoying it, break a plastic chair w one kick, survive a f&%^er standby universe, drive a damn big tank at speeds of 50km/hr.... So many.

Yeah, people, dun think that these are gd memories.... they are memories, my army memories. i will never forget them, cos certain things in life just cant be forgotten.....

To the last 50+ days of my army life... move faster le!!!!!!